Cooking used to be my favorite chore. It’s the only stereotypically female role I’ve actively embraced. It was an act of love when I started dating the man who would become my husband, and I still consider it an act of love, except…
Dinnertime in my household has become unmanageable, something I dread. The food is cold by the time everyone gets to the table. They arrive grumbling and sometimes storm away. No one respects the sacred time together. Everyone rushes through the meal, often without remarking on it. Plates are left unfinished.
I still consider it an act of love for me because I love eating. But it’s become an act of obligation for everyone else, and a tiresome one at that.
I have chosen, in all of my relationships including my current (second) marriage, to be the person who doesn't cook. I will occasionally make a meal, or help with a meal, but this stance has saved me from a shitload of emotional and physical labor over my lifetime.
I've been re-reading this article for several days. I couldn't even finish it the first time because of the feelings it evoked. Thank you for your honesty and courage, and for publicly saying the things we've all been wanting to scream for so long.
I knew nothing about BM beyond that it fed our house and our parties for over a decade. Thank you, I can't thank you enough for that. It breaks my heart that we were supporting and constantly encouraging our loved ones to support something that was harming you.
Something inside me snapped in 2020, and I stopped doing all of the invisible labor in my marriage. Like honestly all of it. I stopped financially supporting us and I stopped household chores altogether for a while because my anxiety and depression, compounded with the onset of menopause and the pandemic, created a perfect storm of catatonia. I'm so happy and lucky to say that my husband stepped up and just took over almost seamlessly. But the guilt and the shame of abdicating this work that is so obviously supposed to be mine continue to plague me, even now as my mental health has allowed me to get back into routine. Sharing the household workload 50/50, and contributing less than half financially feels so wrong. So LAZY. And I am furious at the socialization that creates these expectations and this shame.
Anyway, I'm working on it. 😂 But in an era where I'm counting every penny and examining closely every streaming/subscription service and its value, and where a few weeks ago I had no idea who Michelle Albanes-Davis is -- I'm so very, very glad to be able to provide this tiny bit of support now. Go you. I can't fucking wait for dinner.
(Also we've made that white bean hominy chowder twice already and it's so goddamned good.)
(Also, I'm saying "we" when all I did was subscribe and send my husband the recipe and he did all the shopping and cooking and how fucking great is that right now.)
I’m so glad you had someone beside you that let you feel everything you needed to feel. The pandemic was pivotal for me too. It shook me awake and made me realize that my priorities and life needed to change. It was strong medicine but I needed it.
The guilt of feeling lazy is too real. If my plate isn’t completely full, I feel like I’m not doing enough. That I’m lazy, that I’m being a burden. It’s wild. It will take us years to unlearn that but we’re on the right path.
Thank you for all your support and kind words about my recipes. It helps me keep going and I hope I can help you keep going too ❤️
Argh, what is this "I'm a burden if I'm not carrying literally everything?" Why do we feel this way? Sis, you're supporting me with dinners and that's enormous -- but right now you're also helping me process some tough emotional shit and that's priceless. 💜 I cannot wait to see what you do next!!
Men stepped up a bit during the pandemic to take on some additional share of household labor, but somehow quietly ebbed back to pre-pandemic sidestepping...women may need to be better delegators before habits shift
Men stepped up a bit during the pandemic to take on some additional share of household labor, but somehow quietly ebbed back to pre-pandemic sidestepping...women may need to be better delegators before habits shift
Yes, many men did step up but million of women had to leave their jobs because of a lack of childcare support. You can delegate, make lists, and beg your partner all you want but unless they choose to do it, it won’t get done.
Everybody needs practice to develop their "muscles"😂 but it really has to become social normalcy...for me, it's not just an equity issue but a stumbling block for diet-related disease whose solution in part starts in home kitchen and America's health
In this piece I thought you did a wonderful job of putting yourself in the best light throughout, making sure to blame others for your difficulties while omitting any possible notion that it's a life you choose to prolong with the people you plan to blame well into the future. I wish there were more like you!
Ahhh, Tim. I’m sorry that you chose to spend your one precious life leaving comments on posts to try to hurt stranger’s feelings. Maybe the 5G is finally getting to you. I hope you’re kinder to the people in your real life but I bet there aren’t that many. Good luck out there ❤️
I found you accidentally by searching "food and drink" but here all I found was bitching and whining. Your material is better suited for "self-imposed psychological issues" or maybe "mental distress due to lack of initiative to improve ones life". Instead you decided to dirty-up culinary sections with rants on your victimhood.
(cut and pasted) I’m not spending any more time and energy explaining myself to you. This isn’t 2010. We’re not fighting in the comments. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Not everyone and everything has to bring you pleasure
I’m not spending any more time and energy explaining myself to you. This isn’t 2010. We’re not fighting in the comments. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Not everyone and everything has to bring you pleasure.
God, this is a good piece. I know the compunction to erase the I, to take myself out of the equation, to make an offering palatable.
Someone I follow must have shared this piece on Notes, and I’m so glad they did and I saved it. Thank you for sharing it. I’m sorry for the treatment you had to put up with. It’s clear you’re a badass woman. And I’m excited to start following your stuff!
Michelle- We have been cooking your recipes for years. In fact, your first cookbook was THE FIRST cookbook we purchased when we decided to go vegan. Thank you for sharing your light with us, and we hope there are nothing but good things coming for you.
Also I have never seen a better description of emotional labor and the mental toll it takes. I feel very seen, thank you!
It’s my honor to be your first vegan cookbook!!! Emotional labor is so tough but once you recognize it for what it is, it all makes sense. Thank you for seeing me too. It can be such lonely work, I know ❤️
"Cooking is an art form that is also a daily, never-ending chore." I can relate. I have had people say to me "I don't/can't cook." My response is always "How do you eat? Because it's the most important of the big 3 requirements: FOOD, clothing shelter." The answer is always something unhealthy, relying on a phone, take-out, or another person. If you eat, you need to cook. Simple. People need to take the time to learn to cook a few things, get comfortable in the kitchen, relieve the burden they're strapping on the back of someone else. Be responsible for yourself. Teach your kids to cook. I follow your recommendations that are usually followed by "the future you will thank you." I double up on recipes, freeze extras, construct "big ass salad bowls" that live in the frig for a few days sans dressing, etc. and we usually eat leftovers twice a week, sometimes more. That's one way to lighten the load. Thanks for shedding light on this situation.
I couldn’t have said it any better. Cooking and feeding ourselves is necessary for our survival and if you’re not doing it, someone else has to. I’m glad my suggestions help in the recipes, I’ll keep it up ❤️
After a few books and following Bad Manners on instagram it was obvious you were the whole reason for the brand, but figured the compensation for the jobs was distributed properly to each job done. To know that you didn’t even get half is beyond disgusting and infuriating! 🤬 fuck everyone who thought you deserved less! I follow both your personal accounts on instagram, but after reading this and thinking about all his posts of traveling around the world I can’t stomach to follow and “like” the posts. 🤢 Sorry, not sorry, but what a fuck of a human! I know your article wasn’t trying to be “mean” towards anyone, but thank you for the eye opener. 🤯
I think Scott said it best with being torn for contributing to your mistreatment, but also having to support it to keep it around. You deserve all the credit and happy you’re on your own and getting all the deserved credit. I’ll follow you where ever you go as all your recipes are my main go to for making dinner.
I can relate to a lot in the article and lucky that my husband has been more understanding of what goes into taking care of the house after his motorcycle accident had him couch bound for 2 months. I think I’ll have him read this also just to understand a little more. Thank you for doing what you do and helping feed my household! 💚
Yeah, it’s always funny who ends up with lots of free time and who doesn’t? I appreciate all your support over the years. The recipes in all the books are still my babies so I’ll never leave them behind ❤️ I’m glad your husband is realizing all the work that goes into supporting his life. I hope he keeps it up!
Comment from a man working full-time, shopping and cooking. Every morning I get up first and make the wife and I breakfast (omelette or tofu scramble). For lunch I eat a meat sandwich and the wife has leftovers or a frozen vegan meal. At night, as I get home first, I cook a vegan meal (usually from one of Michelle's books, I have them all). Either the wife or I will choose the recipes, but I do most of the grocery shopping. This came about for 2 reasons: 1- I get home first, and 2- If I have to eat Vegan, I'm gonna make it great. I don't like salads (unless it is maple glazed tofu!). I also want to be sure that the vegan only wife is healthy. I'm afraid that left to her own, she would eat very poorly and not get the necessary protein and nutrients. The 3rd reason is that the wife was diagnosed with ADHD a while back and doing the same thing over and over, day after day, is demoralizing to her. She manages the finances and goes Kayaking while I clean and cook. I love it like this and don't want it to change :) (if you're wondering about the use of "the wife" instead of "my wife" that is on purpose. I don't own her. She fills the wife role in our marriage, and I fill the husband role.
I’m so glad you both like the recipes! Your constant effort, I’m sure, has improved the quality of both your lives. The wife is lucky to have found a real partner in you ❤️
Strong work Michelle! As a female firefighter for almost 25 years, I can sympathize with the gaslighting and fuckery that we go through with our male counterparts. I’ve loved your cookbooks since day one and have made many vegan meals at the firehouse. When any of those fuck nuggets would ask “where’s the protein?”, I’d simply tell them to get fucked and make your own shitty meal, while the rest of us enjoy healthy and delicious meals. We usually rotate cooking but I enjoy it so much that I volunteered to be the permanent cook on my shift. Those bastards would take advantage of my kindness and willingness to make healthy meals and it took a few years for me to fight back. Now as I get close to retirement, they’re all begging me to make batches of meals to put in the freezer for them to eat after my retirement. Those fuckers are gonna miss me. 🤣 But only because I fought for my right to exist in their world. Keep on keeping on!
I counter this with the fact that you should want “healthy and strong” firefighters to carry your ass out of a building on fire. People miss the healthy part and just assume that fat and unhealthy firefighters could do it if they’re big and tall and look strong. I work with some amazing firefighters and I can tell you that the ones who “look” healthy, are in fact not. We get major physicals each year and you’d be surprised at the amount of firefighters with heart issues, diabetes and super high cholesterol, mostly due to shitty food and lack of exercise. My officer hasn’t worked out in over a decade but looks like he could carry out most anyone. Guess what? He had the widow maker heart attack and damn near died. He’s changed his eating and now works out a few times a week. He’s 51. So when we talk about food choices as firefighters, this is what I’m talking about. When I first came into the fire service, it was meat and potatoes, cheesy casseroles and other super unhealthy meals. Over the last decade, the newer and younger firefighters have chosen to take more responsibility of their health for those we serve and quite a few of us old farts have become healthier and stronger because of that.
Physical standards were prolly lowered for fireladies. Lucky me. It's just my tax $ and the lives of ppl I care about you're leveraging to your favor. You had to elbow your way in with the men and talk about them like they're trash. The equity bs isn't working unless for example you like buff trans MMA fighters getting their way. You wouldn't want to be in the ring with them, they'll wrap you up like a little pretzel. The anti-male tone in this thread is vomit and no remedy for anti woman threads which I don't remember ever seeing to this degree. "Those fuckers, those bastards, blabla..." You sound like a sexist pig. Meritocracy is the better way and physical standards are necessary when lives are on the line. Retire, please.
Tim, knock it off. Go someplace with dumber people and try to start your shit there. I don’t care about how many fake news buzzwords you drop in your comments. I know that you’re sad and searching out posts like these to pick fights on is how you make yourself feel better but it’s rough to watch. I hope things get better for you soon.
Sorry Michelle. Some things I won’t back down on and this asshat is one of them. The amount of sexist, homophobic, misogynistic and bullshit comments I’ve had over the years, has only made me stronger and a better person than the assholes slinging it. If this guy would ask any of my 750+ firefighters that I work with, they’d say they love the shit out of me and my dirty mouth.
No need to backdown. It’s just embarrassing to watch someone so out of their depth complain and try to start a fight. I can only imagine what you’ve had to put up with in your industry over the years. That’s what people like Tim forget: we’ve had this shit said to our faces and behind our backs for years. It gets old and boring fast.
Comments like his are such a waste of everyone’s time. They aren’t unique or thoughtful or based on anything but the author’s own insecurities. They can dress up their bullshit however they want but in the end it’s the same temper tantrum a little kid throws when they don’t like something or get their way.
I don't watch news and besides, buildings are on fire and Lisa's trying to cook while the sorry bastards go vroom vroom in the big red truck thingy whatever that's for. It's loud and Lisa's trying to watch Friends.
Tim- jealousy looks bad on you. You must’ve tried to take the test one day and didn’t make the cut. Boo fucking hoo. Grow the fuck up. Standards have never been lowered and I work for a very large department in a large city. You would be lucky to have me as your neighborhood firefighter. Because I can actually do the job AND cook a kick ass meal that keeps us healthy and ready for any type of call. Now run along and get back to Truth Social where you can complain about women and minorities…
Ughhh Lisa!!! I’ve always loved all your comments about the firehouse and their reactions to the recipes. Damn right those fuckers are going to miss you. I can’t imagine all the extra work that went in to your already difficult as hell job because you are woman. Congrats on nearing retirement. All that chili is for you 🍻❤️
Michelle, once I figured out that you did all the creating, the cooking, the testing, and the writing, I wondered how this partnership was called that. I know, of course, there is some artistry in photography, but there would be no photography if there were were the delicious spreads being photographed. I remember when I first realized the imbalance of workload in your cookbooks and creations, I wondered if I were missing something. Apparently not. Good for you for stepping away from what sounds like a toxic business agreement and distribution of workload.
I'm so glad you've started here and I'm with you, 100%. You rock, girlfriend.
Thank you so much Leslie! Your support over the years has meant a lot. This comment made me cry all over again! It’s both a relief and a heartbreak to know that some people could see how fundamentally broken the whole thing was. Thank you for seeing me ❤️
I was so disappointed when I heard book 5 would be the last one, but now knowing the whole story, I can only say I’m so sorry for what you were put through. Now I know exactly who to thank every time I make one of *your* recipes. Thank you for continuing to share your talent with us.
I love love love writing cookbooks and if I ever get the opportunity to do it again, I’ll jump at the chance. I’m glad you’ve like all the food over the years. I’ll keep it up right here ❤️
🔥🔥🔥 you are not only an amazing cook/ cookbook writer but also so eloquent. So well said and so happy for you for standing up for yourself. Here’s to a bright future with your work being full recognized!
Cooking used to be my favorite chore. It’s the only stereotypically female role I’ve actively embraced. It was an act of love when I started dating the man who would become my husband, and I still consider it an act of love, except…
Dinnertime in my household has become unmanageable, something I dread. The food is cold by the time everyone gets to the table. They arrive grumbling and sometimes storm away. No one respects the sacred time together. Everyone rushes through the meal, often without remarking on it. Plates are left unfinished.
I still consider it an act of love for me because I love eating. But it’s become an act of obligation for everyone else, and a tiresome one at that.
I have chosen, in all of my relationships including my current (second) marriage, to be the person who doesn't cook. I will occasionally make a meal, or help with a meal, but this stance has saved me from a shitload of emotional and physical labor over my lifetime.
I've been re-reading this article for several days. I couldn't even finish it the first time because of the feelings it evoked. Thank you for your honesty and courage, and for publicly saying the things we've all been wanting to scream for so long.
I knew nothing about BM beyond that it fed our house and our parties for over a decade. Thank you, I can't thank you enough for that. It breaks my heart that we were supporting and constantly encouraging our loved ones to support something that was harming you.
Something inside me snapped in 2020, and I stopped doing all of the invisible labor in my marriage. Like honestly all of it. I stopped financially supporting us and I stopped household chores altogether for a while because my anxiety and depression, compounded with the onset of menopause and the pandemic, created a perfect storm of catatonia. I'm so happy and lucky to say that my husband stepped up and just took over almost seamlessly. But the guilt and the shame of abdicating this work that is so obviously supposed to be mine continue to plague me, even now as my mental health has allowed me to get back into routine. Sharing the household workload 50/50, and contributing less than half financially feels so wrong. So LAZY. And I am furious at the socialization that creates these expectations and this shame.
Anyway, I'm working on it. 😂 But in an era where I'm counting every penny and examining closely every streaming/subscription service and its value, and where a few weeks ago I had no idea who Michelle Albanes-Davis is -- I'm so very, very glad to be able to provide this tiny bit of support now. Go you. I can't fucking wait for dinner.
(Also we've made that white bean hominy chowder twice already and it's so goddamned good.)
(Also, I'm saying "we" when all I did was subscribe and send my husband the recipe and he did all the shopping and cooking and how fucking great is that right now.)
I’m so glad you had someone beside you that let you feel everything you needed to feel. The pandemic was pivotal for me too. It shook me awake and made me realize that my priorities and life needed to change. It was strong medicine but I needed it.
The guilt of feeling lazy is too real. If my plate isn’t completely full, I feel like I’m not doing enough. That I’m lazy, that I’m being a burden. It’s wild. It will take us years to unlearn that but we’re on the right path.
Thank you for all your support and kind words about my recipes. It helps me keep going and I hope I can help you keep going too ❤️
Argh, what is this "I'm a burden if I'm not carrying literally everything?" Why do we feel this way? Sis, you're supporting me with dinners and that's enormous -- but right now you're also helping me process some tough emotional shit and that's priceless. 💜 I cannot wait to see what you do next!!
Men stepped up a bit during the pandemic to take on some additional share of household labor, but somehow quietly ebbed back to pre-pandemic sidestepping...women may need to be better delegators before habits shift
Men stepped up a bit during the pandemic to take on some additional share of household labor, but somehow quietly ebbed back to pre-pandemic sidestepping...women may need to be better delegators before habits shift
Yes, many men did step up but million of women had to leave their jobs because of a lack of childcare support. You can delegate, make lists, and beg your partner all you want but unless they choose to do it, it won’t get done.
Everybody needs practice to develop their "muscles"😂 but it really has to become social normalcy...for me, it's not just an equity issue but a stumbling block for diet-related disease whose solution in part starts in home kitchen and America's health
In this piece I thought you did a wonderful job of putting yourself in the best light throughout, making sure to blame others for your difficulties while omitting any possible notion that it's a life you choose to prolong with the people you plan to blame well into the future. I wish there were more like you!
Ahhh, Tim. I’m sorry that you chose to spend your one precious life leaving comments on posts to try to hurt stranger’s feelings. Maybe the 5G is finally getting to you. I hope you’re kinder to the people in your real life but I bet there aren’t that many. Good luck out there ❤️
I found you accidentally by searching "food and drink" but here all I found was bitching and whining. Your material is better suited for "self-imposed psychological issues" or maybe "mental distress due to lack of initiative to improve ones life". Instead you decided to dirty-up culinary sections with rants on your victimhood.
(cut and pasted) I’m not spending any more time and energy explaining myself to you. This isn’t 2010. We’re not fighting in the comments. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Not everyone and everything has to bring you pleasure
I’m not spending any more time and energy explaining myself to you. This isn’t 2010. We’re not fighting in the comments. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Not everyone and everything has to bring you pleasure.
God, this is a good piece. I know the compunction to erase the I, to take myself out of the equation, to make an offering palatable.
Someone I follow must have shared this piece on Notes, and I’m so glad they did and I saved it. Thank you for sharing it. I’m sorry for the treatment you had to put up with. It’s clear you’re a badass woman. And I’m excited to start following your stuff!
So so sooooo much respect for you since the beginning and I’m happy you’ve stepped up and regained what was rightfully yours. I felt this post, A LOT.
❤️❤️❤️
Michelle- We have been cooking your recipes for years. In fact, your first cookbook was THE FIRST cookbook we purchased when we decided to go vegan. Thank you for sharing your light with us, and we hope there are nothing but good things coming for you.
Also I have never seen a better description of emotional labor and the mental toll it takes. I feel very seen, thank you!
It’s my honor to be your first vegan cookbook!!! Emotional labor is so tough but once you recognize it for what it is, it all makes sense. Thank you for seeing me too. It can be such lonely work, I know ❤️
"Cooking is an art form that is also a daily, never-ending chore." I can relate. I have had people say to me "I don't/can't cook." My response is always "How do you eat? Because it's the most important of the big 3 requirements: FOOD, clothing shelter." The answer is always something unhealthy, relying on a phone, take-out, or another person. If you eat, you need to cook. Simple. People need to take the time to learn to cook a few things, get comfortable in the kitchen, relieve the burden they're strapping on the back of someone else. Be responsible for yourself. Teach your kids to cook. I follow your recommendations that are usually followed by "the future you will thank you." I double up on recipes, freeze extras, construct "big ass salad bowls" that live in the frig for a few days sans dressing, etc. and we usually eat leftovers twice a week, sometimes more. That's one way to lighten the load. Thanks for shedding light on this situation.
It’s part of adulting…so true
I couldn’t have said it any better. Cooking and feeding ourselves is necessary for our survival and if you’re not doing it, someone else has to. I’m glad my suggestions help in the recipes, I’ll keep it up ❤️
After a few books and following Bad Manners on instagram it was obvious you were the whole reason for the brand, but figured the compensation for the jobs was distributed properly to each job done. To know that you didn’t even get half is beyond disgusting and infuriating! 🤬 fuck everyone who thought you deserved less! I follow both your personal accounts on instagram, but after reading this and thinking about all his posts of traveling around the world I can’t stomach to follow and “like” the posts. 🤢 Sorry, not sorry, but what a fuck of a human! I know your article wasn’t trying to be “mean” towards anyone, but thank you for the eye opener. 🤯
I think Scott said it best with being torn for contributing to your mistreatment, but also having to support it to keep it around. You deserve all the credit and happy you’re on your own and getting all the deserved credit. I’ll follow you where ever you go as all your recipes are my main go to for making dinner.
I can relate to a lot in the article and lucky that my husband has been more understanding of what goes into taking care of the house after his motorcycle accident had him couch bound for 2 months. I think I’ll have him read this also just to understand a little more. Thank you for doing what you do and helping feed my household! 💚
Yeah, it’s always funny who ends up with lots of free time and who doesn’t? I appreciate all your support over the years. The recipes in all the books are still my babies so I’ll never leave them behind ❤️ I’m glad your husband is realizing all the work that goes into supporting his life. I hope he keeps it up!
Comment from a man working full-time, shopping and cooking. Every morning I get up first and make the wife and I breakfast (omelette or tofu scramble). For lunch I eat a meat sandwich and the wife has leftovers or a frozen vegan meal. At night, as I get home first, I cook a vegan meal (usually from one of Michelle's books, I have them all). Either the wife or I will choose the recipes, but I do most of the grocery shopping. This came about for 2 reasons: 1- I get home first, and 2- If I have to eat Vegan, I'm gonna make it great. I don't like salads (unless it is maple glazed tofu!). I also want to be sure that the vegan only wife is healthy. I'm afraid that left to her own, she would eat very poorly and not get the necessary protein and nutrients. The 3rd reason is that the wife was diagnosed with ADHD a while back and doing the same thing over and over, day after day, is demoralizing to her. She manages the finances and goes Kayaking while I clean and cook. I love it like this and don't want it to change :) (if you're wondering about the use of "the wife" instead of "my wife" that is on purpose. I don't own her. She fills the wife role in our marriage, and I fill the husband role.
I’m so glad you both like the recipes! Your constant effort, I’m sure, has improved the quality of both your lives. The wife is lucky to have found a real partner in you ❤️
p.s. feel free to add miso to more recipes. I add it to a lot of your creations and it really adds flavor.
Strong work Michelle! As a female firefighter for almost 25 years, I can sympathize with the gaslighting and fuckery that we go through with our male counterparts. I’ve loved your cookbooks since day one and have made many vegan meals at the firehouse. When any of those fuck nuggets would ask “where’s the protein?”, I’d simply tell them to get fucked and make your own shitty meal, while the rest of us enjoy healthy and delicious meals. We usually rotate cooking but I enjoy it so much that I volunteered to be the permanent cook on my shift. Those bastards would take advantage of my kindness and willingness to make healthy meals and it took a few years for me to fight back. Now as I get close to retirement, they’re all begging me to make batches of meals to put in the freezer for them to eat after my retirement. Those fuckers are gonna miss me. 🤣 But only because I fought for my right to exist in their world. Keep on keeping on!
Sorry Lisa, he’s just here to prove the point I guess
I'd rather have firefighters who can carry people out of burning buildings but ok.
I counter this with the fact that you should want “healthy and strong” firefighters to carry your ass out of a building on fire. People miss the healthy part and just assume that fat and unhealthy firefighters could do it if they’re big and tall and look strong. I work with some amazing firefighters and I can tell you that the ones who “look” healthy, are in fact not. We get major physicals each year and you’d be surprised at the amount of firefighters with heart issues, diabetes and super high cholesterol, mostly due to shitty food and lack of exercise. My officer hasn’t worked out in over a decade but looks like he could carry out most anyone. Guess what? He had the widow maker heart attack and damn near died. He’s changed his eating and now works out a few times a week. He’s 51. So when we talk about food choices as firefighters, this is what I’m talking about. When I first came into the fire service, it was meat and potatoes, cheesy casseroles and other super unhealthy meals. Over the last decade, the newer and younger firefighters have chosen to take more responsibility of their health for those we serve and quite a few of us old farts have become healthier and stronger because of that.
Physical standards were prolly lowered for fireladies. Lucky me. It's just my tax $ and the lives of ppl I care about you're leveraging to your favor. You had to elbow your way in with the men and talk about them like they're trash. The equity bs isn't working unless for example you like buff trans MMA fighters getting their way. You wouldn't want to be in the ring with them, they'll wrap you up like a little pretzel. The anti-male tone in this thread is vomit and no remedy for anti woman threads which I don't remember ever seeing to this degree. "Those fuckers, those bastards, blabla..." You sound like a sexist pig. Meritocracy is the better way and physical standards are necessary when lives are on the line. Retire, please.
Tim, knock it off. Go someplace with dumber people and try to start your shit there. I don’t care about how many fake news buzzwords you drop in your comments. I know that you’re sad and searching out posts like these to pick fights on is how you make yourself feel better but it’s rough to watch. I hope things get better for you soon.
Sorry Michelle. Some things I won’t back down on and this asshat is one of them. The amount of sexist, homophobic, misogynistic and bullshit comments I’ve had over the years, has only made me stronger and a better person than the assholes slinging it. If this guy would ask any of my 750+ firefighters that I work with, they’d say they love the shit out of me and my dirty mouth.
No need to backdown. It’s just embarrassing to watch someone so out of their depth complain and try to start a fight. I can only imagine what you’ve had to put up with in your industry over the years. That’s what people like Tim forget: we’ve had this shit said to our faces and behind our backs for years. It gets old and boring fast.
Comments like his are such a waste of everyone’s time. They aren’t unique or thoughtful or based on anything but the author’s own insecurities. They can dress up their bullshit however they want but in the end it’s the same temper tantrum a little kid throws when they don’t like something or get their way.
I don't watch news and besides, buildings are on fire and Lisa's trying to cook while the sorry bastards go vroom vroom in the big red truck thingy whatever that's for. It's loud and Lisa's trying to watch Friends.
Tim- jealousy looks bad on you. You must’ve tried to take the test one day and didn’t make the cut. Boo fucking hoo. Grow the fuck up. Standards have never been lowered and I work for a very large department in a large city. You would be lucky to have me as your neighborhood firefighter. Because I can actually do the job AND cook a kick ass meal that keeps us healthy and ready for any type of call. Now run along and get back to Truth Social where you can complain about women and minorities…
Ughhh Lisa!!! I’ve always loved all your comments about the firehouse and their reactions to the recipes. Damn right those fuckers are going to miss you. I can’t imagine all the extra work that went in to your already difficult as hell job because you are woman. Congrats on nearing retirement. All that chili is for you 🍻❤️
Michelle, once I figured out that you did all the creating, the cooking, the testing, and the writing, I wondered how this partnership was called that. I know, of course, there is some artistry in photography, but there would be no photography if there were were the delicious spreads being photographed. I remember when I first realized the imbalance of workload in your cookbooks and creations, I wondered if I were missing something. Apparently not. Good for you for stepping away from what sounds like a toxic business agreement and distribution of workload.
I'm so glad you've started here and I'm with you, 100%. You rock, girlfriend.
Thank you so much Leslie! Your support over the years has meant a lot. This comment made me cry all over again! It’s both a relief and a heartbreak to know that some people could see how fundamentally broken the whole thing was. Thank you for seeing me ❤️
I was so disappointed when I heard book 5 would be the last one, but now knowing the whole story, I can only say I’m so sorry for what you were put through. Now I know exactly who to thank every time I make one of *your* recipes. Thank you for continuing to share your talent with us.
I love love love writing cookbooks and if I ever get the opportunity to do it again, I’ll jump at the chance. I’m glad you’ve like all the food over the years. I’ll keep it up right here ❤️
🔥🔥🔥 you are not only an amazing cook/ cookbook writer but also so eloquent. So well said and so happy for you for standing up for yourself. Here’s to a bright future with your work being full recognized!
Thank you so much. All I can do is my best to keep growing and changing ❤️