She also pretended to have a miscarriage, claimed it was a tube pregnancy. She had her tubes cut before we met. And didn’t tell me that until after a year of being married. So many lies came out of her mouth that eroded the trust I tried to put into our relationship. I know she cheated during the marriage, never admitted it, but flamed me whenever I spoke to another woman that wasn’t family. Even accused me sleeping with her sister because her sister was claiming she was sleeping with me on her fb. I never slept with her sister. I would admit it now if I had. I won’t deny having thought about it, but never did, never tried to. And last time I checked, thought crimes aren’t illegal in the USA. At least not now.
I’m very wary of love bombers. I recall that being a big no no in relationships, 15-25 years ago. Akin to being needy or controlling.
I’m sorry you went through that. It leaves such a scar. It’s so unnecessary to lie like that to someone who loves you. Or really anyone at all. Some people can’t help themselves. I hope she gets everything she deserves in this life 💔
I read this and then immediately put on Apple Cider Vinegar. Four episodes in now and I am a bit ashamed of how much I'm enjoying it. I just wish it wasn't true.
That's the rub for me with most of these quasi true crime shows. I don't want to enjoy people's suffering but I really appreciate that you never ever feel sorry for Belle. I couldn't have enjoyed it otherwise.
I did Google Gibson after watching the series. I saw one piece that referenced the real-life family of the Milla Blake character being unhappy with their life being part a show, which I am fully sympathetic to. I hope though that someday perhaps they can appreciate that this show does do a really good job of demonstrating how harmful the whole "doctors are bad, nature is good, here try this salve/retreat/diet/etc" schtick can be. Maybe some lives might be saved even.
Yeah I saw that too. I appreciated the contrast between Belle and Milla in the series. Whereas Belle was always a con artist, Milla’s character showed how well intentioned, intelligent people can get sucked down the rabbit hole too. I thought her speech at the end about how she was just lying to herself made the whole series really land strong. I hope her family comes around ❤️
Unfortunately I understand exactly the type of person you're talking about, and I just recently ended the relationship. You cannot trust someone who doesn't tell you the truth. You cannot communicate with them or think that if you just speak up, if you let the know how you feel, what you want, if you were just CLEARER, then things would change. It won't. It's a waste of time and energy.
That’s the hardest part to understand! I spent forever thinking if I was just nicer, or worded things differently, or explained myself better, they’d get it. But you’re right. They’ll never ever come around. It’s truly best to just cut your losses. I’m sorry the friendship ended, but you did the right thing ❤️
'A black hole where their humanity should be'. You have nailed it, Michelle. I had people like that in my life in my late teens and twenties and it really fucked with my head. It took a LONG LONG time to get to the point where i would trust my gut (!) and not the dick wads that would gaslight me. I think Women have great intuition, but we are not encouraged to develop/use it. Great article Michelle and a pox on orange faced, dead eyed soulless El Presidente's (and ex business partner's). Love your work as always Michelle.
Lord, this really hit home today. I had a former friend who was like this, and two current neighbors. You have heard about the guy with the cars, and I'll talk about the other neighbor in my comments.
My other neighbor is a Karen. Literally. That is her name. She has told frequent lies about us, ranging from saying we had been turned in and fined after I requested a fire safety inspection to claiming the rats on her property are our fault and trying to make us pay for a cushion. My favorite came last November, a few days before the election. I don't have a fence where I live due to my neighbor on the other side, Mike, and his cars. Karen's grandson had come onto our property and taken a cattle trough that had belonged to my grandfather and pulled it onto her property. I confronted her, and while she did tell him it was wrong, she also states how there was a dead snake in it, how he'd been admiring it for a long time, and how he claimed it was in the creek. Essentially not only making his stealing not a big deal, but trying to get me to give it to him. She then was telling him what a great gardener I am, and trying to get us to garden together and showing me her new piano. 🤦♀️ I felt like I was crazy for being upset about his trespassing and stealing. It is crazy the lengths people will go to in order to avoid accountability.
People like that swear reality is malleable. And now I’m the dick for not going along with your weird story? Nawww. I hope all your insane neighbors get lots soon. It’s no fun living in a viper den.
Stories like this are so triggering but I also find them so compelling. Seeing someone behave in a way so similar to my narc abuser is wild. Like you mentioned, the complete commitment to the bullshit is almost impressive in how completely unhinged their lies become.
Oof, thus far not that I know of, although I do believe it will come around. At the very least, his incredibly poor treatment of his body will catch up to him soon for sure.
It's feels heartless to admit that at this point, but I almost wish for it. I really believe it's the only way he'll be stopped from harming others.
Yup, triggering and compelling is a great way to put it. When you watch it happen in real life, the amount of bullshit almost melts your brain. The total commitment blows me away every time.
I love this! I must say though, that there is a corollary group of asshats who minimize, belittle and ignore real illness and disability in the name of wellness. I have a colleague in the legal profession who adamantly refuses to agree to continuing a hearing based on things like an eye surgery, broken cochlear device, or other illness related issue. Complete jerk. Married to a doctor who treats post cancer patients “holistically” for cash only. Snake oil peddlers and abusers deserve each other!
Absolutely! There’s a character in the show who blames herself for her cancer and thus feels compelled to “heal it herself”. The show does a great job of illustrating all the reasons people seek out advice from grifters like Belle.
Wait! What?! ACV is not a scam!!! My neighbor's 2nd cousin's friend's sister knows a lady who swore it cured her gout, healed her sciatica, and regrew her hair! Has to be true! (Hope the sarcasm translates here....)
Loved this piece. Thanks for making it plain. If I may add—without victim blaming—we (especially women) are groomed to believe a lot of BS. “Good girl syndrome”, sexism, toxic masculinity and more. It’s important that we connect/reconnect with our critical minds and retrain ourselves to respect the voice within.
Loved this one Michelle! I had a 20yr friendship with a liar/psychopath and Im embarrassed it took me that long to figure it all out.. Every time I thought I figured her out she would turn on me and somehow I did it. Life has been good past 5 yrs. I blocked her everywhere.. Also, check out Scamanda! Another lying lunatic pretending to have cancer
That podcast on Amanda is really good. It’s wild how far these people can go because who wants to accuse someone of faking cancer? Some other good scammer podcasts are believe in magic and sweet Bobby.
Indeed, total piece of shit sums it up nicely, Michelle. As even her brother is campaigning for, she should go to jail for having misled people into turning away from medical help. And while we're on the topic of assholes using influence to cause real harm, last night I listened to this podcast (from the very awesome peeps at Conspirituality) on the new raw milk movement (which should really just be rebranded "raw stupidity" or "darwinism in action". Oh and they also eat raw meat (including chicken) and fermented meat (i.e. rotting). And they have thousands of followers... following suit. https://www.patreon.com/posts/245-raw-dogging-122501247
Oh my, I’m going to deep dive right into this. And yes, Belle hurt people with her lies and people likely died from following her advice. It’s wild that she’s still walking free after all that.
I remember reading last year about supermodel Elle McPherson claiming healthy eating (and probably all kinds of other crystal wavy anti-science horseshit) cured her cancer. Her ex-bf is also Andrew Wakefield, the vaccines-cause-autism liar with his discredited studies. Whether she had cancer as bad as she claimed, who knows, she does also have the benefit of being ridiculously wealthy and for all we know could have just lied.
And then tangentially I came across the story of MTV VJ Ananda Lewis in the NYT late last year, stage four breast cancer, who resisted a lot of intervention like a double mastectomy because of people like Elle McPherson and obviously now can no longer be helped by radiation or chemo or anything else.
The path of the wellness grifter and the science denier is ultimately littered with corpses.
Exactly and for some reason, these grifters face so little pushback. Every time I hear some celebrity claiming some bullshit like that I want to scream. It hurts people. Full stop.
Great essay. Her story has been fairly well-known throughout the cancer survivor community. I’d read the book and needless to say I was incredibly excited to watch this. I thought it was very well done: it was at times infuriating, sad and even quite funny. I just finished watching Scamanda on Hulu too, about another cancer faker.
I’m glad you liked it too. It’s always interesting to see who’s heard of her and who hasn’t. I can’t imagine how the cancer survivor community feels about her. Hell is too comfortable for her in my opinion.
Great piece! Thank you for explaining all of this! I’ve been seeing that netflix special pop up on my page. Guess i should watch it now! Lying about cancer is DISGUSTING. i know a girl from connecticut who did that
It’s a great watch. I just wish the title was a little better. It feels confusing. And yes, lying about cancer should be a guaranteed way to get ostracized from society. So gross.
My ex-wife pretended to have brain cancer.
She didn’t.
She also pretended to have a miscarriage, claimed it was a tube pregnancy. She had her tubes cut before we met. And didn’t tell me that until after a year of being married. So many lies came out of her mouth that eroded the trust I tried to put into our relationship. I know she cheated during the marriage, never admitted it, but flamed me whenever I spoke to another woman that wasn’t family. Even accused me sleeping with her sister because her sister was claiming she was sleeping with me on her fb. I never slept with her sister. I would admit it now if I had. I won’t deny having thought about it, but never did, never tried to. And last time I checked, thought crimes aren’t illegal in the USA. At least not now.
I’m very wary of love bombers. I recall that being a big no no in relationships, 15-25 years ago. Akin to being needy or controlling.
I’m sorry you went through that. It leaves such a scar. It’s so unnecessary to lie like that to someone who loves you. Or really anyone at all. Some people can’t help themselves. I hope she gets everything she deserves in this life 💔
I read this and then immediately put on Apple Cider Vinegar. Four episodes in now and I am a bit ashamed of how much I'm enjoying it. I just wish it wasn't true.
That's the rub for me with most of these quasi true crime shows. I don't want to enjoy people's suffering but I really appreciate that you never ever feel sorry for Belle. I couldn't have enjoyed it otherwise.
I did Google Gibson after watching the series. I saw one piece that referenced the real-life family of the Milla Blake character being unhappy with their life being part a show, which I am fully sympathetic to. I hope though that someday perhaps they can appreciate that this show does do a really good job of demonstrating how harmful the whole "doctors are bad, nature is good, here try this salve/retreat/diet/etc" schtick can be. Maybe some lives might be saved even.
Yeah I saw that too. I appreciated the contrast between Belle and Milla in the series. Whereas Belle was always a con artist, Milla’s character showed how well intentioned, intelligent people can get sucked down the rabbit hole too. I thought her speech at the end about how she was just lying to herself made the whole series really land strong. I hope her family comes around ❤️
Unfortunately I understand exactly the type of person you're talking about, and I just recently ended the relationship. You cannot trust someone who doesn't tell you the truth. You cannot communicate with them or think that if you just speak up, if you let the know how you feel, what you want, if you were just CLEARER, then things would change. It won't. It's a waste of time and energy.
That’s the hardest part to understand! I spent forever thinking if I was just nicer, or worded things differently, or explained myself better, they’d get it. But you’re right. They’ll never ever come around. It’s truly best to just cut your losses. I’m sorry the friendship ended, but you did the right thing ❤️
The excellent podcast Maintenance Phase covered Belle and her griftiness. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/maintenance-phase/id1535408667?i=1000549643535
Can’t wait to watch the show!
Of course they covered her! I’ll put this on my list. Thanks
'A black hole where their humanity should be'. You have nailed it, Michelle. I had people like that in my life in my late teens and twenties and it really fucked with my head. It took a LONG LONG time to get to the point where i would trust my gut (!) and not the dick wads that would gaslight me. I think Women have great intuition, but we are not encouraged to develop/use it. Great article Michelle and a pox on orange faced, dead eyed soulless El Presidente's (and ex business partner's). Love your work as always Michelle.
Lord, this really hit home today. I had a former friend who was like this, and two current neighbors. You have heard about the guy with the cars, and I'll talk about the other neighbor in my comments.
My other neighbor is a Karen. Literally. That is her name. She has told frequent lies about us, ranging from saying we had been turned in and fined after I requested a fire safety inspection to claiming the rats on her property are our fault and trying to make us pay for a cushion. My favorite came last November, a few days before the election. I don't have a fence where I live due to my neighbor on the other side, Mike, and his cars. Karen's grandson had come onto our property and taken a cattle trough that had belonged to my grandfather and pulled it onto her property. I confronted her, and while she did tell him it was wrong, she also states how there was a dead snake in it, how he'd been admiring it for a long time, and how he claimed it was in the creek. Essentially not only making his stealing not a big deal, but trying to get me to give it to him. She then was telling him what a great gardener I am, and trying to get us to garden together and showing me her new piano. 🤦♀️ I felt like I was crazy for being upset about his trespassing and stealing. It is crazy the lengths people will go to in order to avoid accountability.
People like that swear reality is malleable. And now I’m the dick for not going along with your weird story? Nawww. I hope all your insane neighbors get lots soon. It’s no fun living in a viper den.
Stories like this are so triggering but I also find them so compelling. Seeing someone behave in a way so similar to my narc abuser is wild. Like you mentioned, the complete commitment to the bullshit is almost impressive in how completely unhinged their lies become.
I am so sorry you have had experiences like the ones Michelle described. I hope the people who mistreated you get their comeuppance.
Oof, thus far not that I know of, although I do believe it will come around. At the very least, his incredibly poor treatment of his body will catch up to him soon for sure.
It's feels heartless to admit that at this point, but I almost wish for it. I really believe it's the only way he'll be stopped from harming others.
I like to say that I hope they get everything they’ve earned. It puts all of it back on them where it belongs.
It is not heartless. You are hoping others will not be mistreated the way you are, and that is a kindness.
Yup, triggering and compelling is a great way to put it. When you watch it happen in real life, the amount of bullshit almost melts your brain. The total commitment blows me away every time.
I love this! I must say though, that there is a corollary group of asshats who minimize, belittle and ignore real illness and disability in the name of wellness. I have a colleague in the legal profession who adamantly refuses to agree to continuing a hearing based on things like an eye surgery, broken cochlear device, or other illness related issue. Complete jerk. Married to a doctor who treats post cancer patients “holistically” for cash only. Snake oil peddlers and abusers deserve each other!
Absolutely! There’s a character in the show who blames herself for her cancer and thus feels compelled to “heal it herself”. The show does a great job of illustrating all the reasons people seek out advice from grifters like Belle.
Great essay. I have paused on Apple Cider Vinegar and considered watching it. It is now on my to watch list. I might start it tonight.
Thank you! It’s a great watch and they do a good job of showing examples of the real world harm people like her do.
Excellent piece! I know someone like this as well!
It’s crazy! These people are everywhere.
ok wait but is apple cider vinegar a scam too??? would be so nice to have something to hold over my parents the next time I talk to them
Oh it def has some scam properties. People swear it cures everything I swear 🙄
Wait! What?! ACV is not a scam!!! My neighbor's 2nd cousin's friend's sister knows a lady who swore it cured her gout, healed her sciatica, and regrew her hair! Has to be true! (Hope the sarcasm translates here....)
This is perfect
Loved this piece. Thanks for making it plain. If I may add—without victim blaming—we (especially women) are groomed to believe a lot of BS. “Good girl syndrome”, sexism, toxic masculinity and more. It’s important that we connect/reconnect with our critical minds and retrain ourselves to respect the voice within.
Absolutely. Calling someone a liar can feel rude but we’ve got to shut that conditioning off and call it like we see it!
Loved this one Michelle! I had a 20yr friendship with a liar/psychopath and Im embarrassed it took me that long to figure it all out.. Every time I thought I figured her out she would turn on me and somehow I did it. Life has been good past 5 yrs. I blocked her everywhere.. Also, check out Scamanda! Another lying lunatic pretending to have cancer
That podcast on Amanda is really good. It’s wild how far these people can go because who wants to accuse someone of faking cancer? Some other good scammer podcasts are believe in magic and sweet Bobby.
Ohhh I’m going to find that podcast right now
Why are these people everywhere?!?! I’m sorry you went through that. It fucks with your head. I’ll check out Scamanda next!
Indeed, total piece of shit sums it up nicely, Michelle. As even her brother is campaigning for, she should go to jail for having misled people into turning away from medical help. And while we're on the topic of assholes using influence to cause real harm, last night I listened to this podcast (from the very awesome peeps at Conspirituality) on the new raw milk movement (which should really just be rebranded "raw stupidity" or "darwinism in action". Oh and they also eat raw meat (including chicken) and fermented meat (i.e. rotting). And they have thousands of followers... following suit. https://www.patreon.com/posts/245-raw-dogging-122501247
Oh my, I’m going to deep dive right into this. And yes, Belle hurt people with her lies and people likely died from following her advice. It’s wild that she’s still walking free after all that.
I remember reading last year about supermodel Elle McPherson claiming healthy eating (and probably all kinds of other crystal wavy anti-science horseshit) cured her cancer. Her ex-bf is also Andrew Wakefield, the vaccines-cause-autism liar with his discredited studies. Whether she had cancer as bad as she claimed, who knows, she does also have the benefit of being ridiculously wealthy and for all we know could have just lied.
And then tangentially I came across the story of MTV VJ Ananda Lewis in the NYT late last year, stage four breast cancer, who resisted a lot of intervention like a double mastectomy because of people like Elle McPherson and obviously now can no longer be helped by radiation or chemo or anything else.
The path of the wellness grifter and the science denier is ultimately littered with corpses.
Exactly and for some reason, these grifters face so little pushback. Every time I hear some celebrity claiming some bullshit like that I want to scream. It hurts people. Full stop.
The next few years is going to provide so much FAFO fodder.
Great essay. Her story has been fairly well-known throughout the cancer survivor community. I’d read the book and needless to say I was incredibly excited to watch this. I thought it was very well done: it was at times infuriating, sad and even quite funny. I just finished watching Scamanda on Hulu too, about another cancer faker.
I’m glad you liked it too. It’s always interesting to see who’s heard of her and who hasn’t. I can’t imagine how the cancer survivor community feels about her. Hell is too comfortable for her in my opinion.
Great piece! Thank you for explaining all of this! I’ve been seeing that netflix special pop up on my page. Guess i should watch it now! Lying about cancer is DISGUSTING. i know a girl from connecticut who did that
It’s a great watch. I just wish the title was a little better. It feels confusing. And yes, lying about cancer should be a guaranteed way to get ostracized from society. So gross.