I’ve been working online since before anybody talked about content creation, influencers, or having a personal brand. Every app had a chronological feed. The internet was still the wild west. Talent agencies were barely starting to sign Youtube stars. There was no one to ask for advice. I’ve just guessed my way through my entire career on social media, from Tumblr to Substack. People think that because I’ve had some success in publishing that I must have a huge team churning out work for me to slap my name on. But that has never been true. It really is just me here, stumbling forward again and again. I’ve never had a strategy, other than working my ass off. In these last 10 years, every hour not spent working felt like I was falling behind. Every new app, new trend, or topic of discourse was another thing I had to do, or speak about to keep my skin in the game. I don’t come from a famous family or have connections in the industry that allowed me to get ahead. I just work and hope that it lands. And when it does, I can exhale. When the work doesn’t land, doesn’t sell, doesn’t move the needle, I have to immediately get back to work, and figure something else out. It’s been an exhausting way to spend a decade.
In all those years, I’ve never actually taken any real time off. Yes, I’ve gone on a vacation here and there but all those trips involved me doing a shitton of work ahead of time so I could take one eye off the computer while still answering emails, checking messages, posts, whatever. It’s a prison I made for myself. After years of taking on more than I should, people got used to me responding to everything immediately. They got used to me having no boundaries because I wanted to be someone that was easy to work with. Real a pleasure to have in class, but for adults. That’s my fault. It’s exhausting to live that way, but I couldn’t see it then. I’m burned out. Everybody is burned out. There are thousands of reasons why we’re all so deeply tired and those reasons love to pile up. Of course, all of this burn out is arriving for me while I am trying to disentangle myself from an unhealthy business relationship where everything is as difficult and drawn out as possible. There aren’t enough deep breaths in the world to make it ok. This kind of constant stress, the neverending din of the news and other people’s opinions all fucking day, has worn us out. Our brains are fried and all it takes is a glance at any social media feed to confirm this.
So imagine the shock on my face while I was reading through the responses to the little reader survey I sent out over the week of July 4th. All of you were kind, generous, and extremely helpful with your suggestions. These last 10 years have not prepared me for such love and support. I went in ready for a bunch of harsh words, but they never appeared. Not a single shithead. This is unheard-of when it comes to online questionnaires. I am in awe of all of you. In fact, many of you recommended that I take a little time off to help recharge my batteries. I was not expecting that. Sure, I could take my dear readers suggesting I go take a nap for a few weeks as the death knell of this successful lil newsletter I’m building, but I have decided to take you all at your word. I could use a break, and I absolutely needed permission from all of you to take one. I would have never, ever thought it up on my own. Sure, maybe my wife has been saying something similar, but I would never listen to such a thing.
So here is the deal- I’m going to take a little time off. Like for real. A summer vacation of sorts. A little time to recalibrate myself, a little time to work on recipes without pressure and projects I’ve been neglecting. A little time to take in the sun, enjoy the summer, laugh with friends and eat some amazing food, smack dab in the middle of my everyday life. Just a little time to breathe. I hope all of you will be here when I get back. During my vacation, I will be pausing billing for all my paid subscribers so don’t worry about that. Additionally I will be dropping my meal manager next month like normal, so please enjoy that in the meantime.
has its discussion threads up already and I’ll pop in from time to time with my thoughts as I finish The Light Eaters (so good). Also remember the chat is always there for you all to enjoy eachothers company. If you need help with recipes or have a tech question, send me an email and Kyria or one of my cats will get back to you. I appreciate all of you giving me permission to prioritize myself and I promise I will be back soon with lots of great new recipes and a ton more energy.Need someone to join you for happy hour? Pop on over to the subscriber chat on Fridays starting at 1:30 pm PST where we all enjoy a glass of whatever sounds delicious and shake off the weight of the work week.
I’ll be back soon with a few more freckles, and a lot more recipes and opinions. See you oh so soon!
Michelle
I can’t really answer questions about cooking, I mainly like to eat 😂 but I’m here if you need me!
The most radical thing we can do is decolonize our mind from the idea that we have to work, work, work relentlessly. Through rest and the emptiness of space, inspiration and regeneration flow. I’ve been there. And I’ll be here when you come back.