Eating Salvation
we’ve already got the answer to all our problems and it’s beans
Any time things get overwhelming, my mind goes to beans.1No money in the bank account? Beans. Friends coming over to scream at the TV with me during the VP debate? Beans. Want to eat 20-100 of something? Beans. I’m clearly not the only one. As I was working on this piece, the lovely
at Cruciferous and Anna at both wrote all about beans in their newsletters. Why? Because we all have great taste and know a life changing ingredient when we see one.We forget that beans are so often the answer to what ails us. Maybe it’s their dependability that makes us neglect them. They’ve been right alongside humanity longer than we’ve known how to write. Soybeans were domesticated 9,000 years ago in present day China, fava beans were domesticated 11,000 years ago in present-day Israel, and the common bean was domesticated in both present-day Mexico and the central Andes 8,000 years ago. Humans all over the world wanted to lock down beans and we’ve been in a committed relationship with them ever since. So, why are we so quiet about our millennia-spanning love affair?
Beans get a bad rap because of their accessibility and affordability. Dubbed the “food of the poor” or “the poor man’s meat” in many cultures all over the world, beans are looked down on because they’re accessible to everyone. We’re easy to confuse. Just because something is exclusive and expensive people will assume that it’s best option available. But let’s have some sense. Money can’t buy taste and not everything needs to be difficult. Truffles try too hard, foie gras is insane, and food covered in gold flakes just makes for pretty poop. But beans? Beans can do anything. Yeah, they’re easy to grow and affordable but that doesn’t mean they’re worthless. Their value to humanity is too hard to quantify because it’s so expansive; truffles look cheap in comparison. Beans are the answer to 90% of our problems.
It's no secret that beans are an incredible source of protein but stack them up against meat? Please. 80 percent of the world’s agriculture lands are used to raise cattle, pigs and chickens, which ultimately provide only 38 percent of the global protein supply. Not great. Beans and other plants use just 14 percent of agriculture lands to grow, but account for 62 percent of the global protein supply. That’s value right there. The difference between global calorie supplies is even more stark. Beans could solve world hungry if we just fucking let them.
Beans also work with bacteria in our soil to pull nitrogen out of the air and stuff it back in the ground where we want it. Excessive atmospheric nitrogen is one of the major contributors to global climate collapse so planting more beans would help slow that disaster down while also reducing meat’s gigantic role in climate change. And speaking of soil, the UN estimates that 40 percent of the world’s soil is moderately or severely degraded with estimates rising to 90 percent by 2050. What could improve the quality of the world’s soil AND provide dinner? Beans, baby. It’s always been beans.
The biggest knock against beans is that they make some people fart. Are we really going to let that hold us back? First, farting is objectively hilarious. Humans have loved farts for almost as long as we’ve loved beans. We used to decorate books with images of people farting; we still sell whoopee cushions. We LOVE farts so let’s stop lying to ourselves. Second, in the last 15 years I’ve watched everyone eat cauliflower with absolute abandon. We’ve turned it into pizza crust, rice, and pretended that a thick cut of a cauliflower “steak” could serve as a filling entree. Not one mention of how that’s just a plate full of future farts. Not one. So please, let’s move *farts* off the list of reasons to avoid beans, despite the cute little rhyme. We’ll stay farty and be just fine.
The debate is over; we’re all eating beans. And there’s no better (or cheaper) way to enjoy beans than cooking them from their dried state. I don’t know when cooking a pot of dried beans got pushed into the territory of a difficult kitchen move but it’s not true. That’s classic anti-bean propaganda. If you can boil a box of dried pasta, you can cook beans. Canned beans are great to have on hand, but that convenience comes at a price. Here’s a graphic from my last book Hungry as Hell that breaks down the standard bean math for you. Once you realize how much farther your dollars stretch with dried beans, you’ll wonder how you ever started buying tons of cans of the same beans.
Additionally, buying canned beans limits your ability to eat all the bazillion different kinds of beans in this world. There are more than chickpeas, pinto beans, and black beans out there. Just like the endless variety of apples, gourds, squash, and other amazing fruits and veggies we love to eat, there are tons of unique bean varieties that even the dullest pallets will be stunned by. Look around at your farmer’s market and online to find something new. You’ll be surprised at how complex and unique each variety of bean tastes once you start to branch out. You’ve barely scratched the surface of your new bean-based life.
I make a giant pot of beans at least once a week and use them in lunches, dinners, dips, and everything in between. Once you get into the rhythm, it’s not a chore. I cook a pot while I’m cleaning up the house, while I’m doing dishes, while I’m fucking around on TikTok. They might take a while to cook, but in total, beans barely need 10 minutes of your active attention. The payoff for keeping that pot simmering is a life of eating well, saving money, helping the planet, and a full belly. Beans are a rare universal win.
Beans are for winners.
Need some help? Joy’s newsletter has a great guide for making an easy pot of beans in a slow cooker so click right over if that’s your vibe. Ann has several recipes in her bean post for mung beans, garbanzos, white northern beans, and lentils that are easy enough to veganize and all sound damn delicious. Right here at
, I’m sharing my simplest recipe for a big pot of beans. Cooking times will vary based on what beans you’re using and how long you soaked them, but you’ll be able to handle it. I swear. You know what a cooked bean feels like when you eat it.A Nice Pot of Beans
Makes enough beans for the week
1 pound dried beans
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
1 rib of celery, chopped, optional
3 crushed cloves of garlic
1 dried chipotle pepper, optional
Salt and pepper
Pour your beans into a colander and rinse, picking out any small debris or beans with cracks in them. Throw the rinsed beans in a large bowl or container and cover them with at least 2 inches of water. Let them soak there for a couple hours. Do this in the morning while you make your coffee, tea, or whatever you’re little ritual it is. No time to soak? That’s fine, just know that it’s gonna take a little longer to cook them. Nothing to stress over though.
When you are ready to cook your beans, add the olive oil to a large soup pot with a lid over a medium high heat. Add the onion, carrot, and celery, and cook until the onion starts to brown in some spots and everything else has softened up, about 8-10 minutes. Add the garlic and chipotle and stir. Pour in the beans and their soaking liquid then cover them with at least 3 inches of water. Bring the temperature up on the pot to high, and let the pot come to boil for 10 minutes, stirring frequently. Turn down the heat to medium low, cover, and let this pot simmer for 45 minutes- 2 ½ hours, or until the beans are tender. If you start running out of water in the pot while you’re cooking, just add a cup or two of warm water to the pot and keep simmering.
When they beans are *almost* tender, add salt to the pot, ½ teaspoon at a time until it tastes good to you. Adding salt too early in the cooking process can make the beans tough so waiting has its rewards. Done. Now you can scoop them into recipes, puree them right in the pot, or do whatever the fuck you want. They’re your beans.
Have a favorite way to cook your beans? A favorite shop to buy unique beans from? Some special variety that only grows in your part of the world? Favorite go-to recipe? Don’t be shy, drop your bean secrets in the comments and share the wealth.
Would it be cheesy to remind you about my recipe for last week? Click on over this way to get the recipe for an instant cheese mix to keep right in your pantry.2 It’s great for mac and cheese, nachos, and drizzled on top of chili— one of my favorite bean delivery systems. Yeah, it’s all coming back to beans. Always does.
Thanks for spending your weekend with me and I can’t wait to hear all your bean info so don’t forget to leave a comment!
xoxo,
Michelle
For the purposes of this piece, all pulses are beans. Lentils, legumes, peas— all beans for us right now. If you think it’s a bean, it’s a bean. No foolishness please. My brain is 73% bean.
I’m embarrassed by this very stupid joke but not enough to delete it.
I grew up in the southern Appalachians where beans are or were a staple for meals. Beans grown and dried in hull strung on thread and hung across a spare bedroom to dry. Or store bought pintos in 10 lb bags.
Since I procrastinate a lot, I use a fast soak to save an hour. Boil for 3-4 mins, cover and stand off heat for an hour. I only add the onion with the cooking beans and a little bit of oregano. Salt and pepper after like you said. For beans being served directly after cooking, I mash a small amount of beans against the bottom of the pot and stir when the beans are almost done to make a creamy broth aka soup beans. This method is primarily with pintos. I love this back to earth basics that you are featuring.!!
I love the research you put into these articles. I feel like I learn so much from you.